Whether it’s ancient literature or modern media, mentors are seen everywhere.” In Star Wars, Luke has Ben Kenobi. In the Rocky films, Rocky Balboa has Mick. In both, older men teach young men how to deal with life, both challenging and encouraging them. In the TV show, “Suits,” Harvey mentors an up-and-coming attorney named Michael. Business classes teach the importance of finding and being a mentor. But where are the models of mothers and fathers mentoring their children? It unfortunately is all too common for parents to have the mindset of their responsibilities encompassing only their children’s physical needs of shelter, food, clothes, cars, and electronics. Some church-going people believe it’s the job of the church or youth pastors to mentor their kids. However, the lack of parents mentoring their children is both a family and societal issue.

Parents as mentors isn’t a new concept. 3,500 years ago, Moses taught the people of Israel that one of a parent’s primary jobs is to mentor their children. I’m not asking you to believe in the Bible but rather to consider the principle. Moses says regarding mentoring. “You shall teach them (God’s principles for living) diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way and when you lie down, and when you rise.” In other words, parents were to be deliberate in teaching their children how to do life well. They were to pass on wisdom learned from both doing things right and from making mistakes. They were to do this throughout the day, not just when a child is in trouble. While times have changed and most people aren’t with their kids all day, the principle stands.

If Moses were writing this today, he might say something like. “When you’re getting your kids ready for school, be on the lookout for opportunities to pass on wisdom. When you see them at the end of the day and they’ve had a bad day at school, listen to and encourage them and talk about ways to better handle the same situation the next time around. If your child has a hard time with a coach or teacher, listen and teach them how to be respectful to authority figures, while still standing up for themselves. If your teen gets a driving ticket, walk them through how to handle it.” I know that takes a lot of time and effort but, do what you can, when you can. Make an effort. Take the first step. Honestly assess how you use your time: friends, hobbies, video games, screen time, electronics. While these are not inherently bad, don’t let them take away from the precious time you can spend mentoring your children: time they need with you.

Mentoring your child is a deliberate, intentional and time-intensive plan to teach, train, encourage, and correct your child in everyday situations to prepare them for life. It’s not always easy or fun. It requires sacrifice on your part. This is deliberate parenting (see November’s blog post). It means that we stop being passive with our kids or yelling at them after they’ve messed up. Instead, it means taking the time to show them how to be successful as people. Kids left mostly to raise themselves are set up for hardship. All too often over the years, I’ve heard parents, say, “Ah, they’ll be ok. They’ll figure it out like I did.” Letting your kid “figure it out” is often a recipe for disaster. Our kids need our loving input and time, daily. Mentoring your child doesn’t prevent all the junk that life throws at them, but it does mean that they will be more confident and better equipped to deal with it when it does come their way. It will give them the tools, skills, and mindset to prosper in life because of your investment in them.