In our culture, with the desire to educate people on mental disabilities, the terms depressed and anxious are used a lot, especially with today’s teens. However, the chronically depressed and panic-disordered teenagers we work with indicate that the terms need to be better defined. These clients report that they feel a need to educate their friends on what depression and anxiety actually is—and isn’t—but at times they feel too overwhelmed by life to do so. So, in this article, we share with you how several brilliant teenagers define those terms.

Depression

Depression is NOT:

• Feeling sad because you got in a fight but were then able to go off happily on your way a short time later
• Being upset because things did not go your way
• Simply a good way to get out of doing something unpleasant, like staying in class or doing homework

Instead, depression IS:

• Overwhelming physical and emotional sense of continuous hopelessness, even when doing something you like
• The inability to physically get out of bed and put your clothes on
• Being in a situation but not experiencing any of it, at all

Anxiety

Anxiety Is NOT:

• Nervousness about doing something undesirable, but being able to complete it no matter how uncomfortable you feel
• Butterflies in your tummy
• Dread for getting caught breaking a rule

Instead, anxiety IS:

• A physical and mental inability to do something simple that everyone else seems able to do with no problem—like ordering food in a restaurant
• Shaking of the legs, racing of the heart, inability to actually catch your breath or just breathe—for no apparent reason
• Constant fear that the environment will somehow kill you, not necessarily caused by true danger in the environment

Anxiety feeds on itself–you can get anxious from the fear of being anxious.

When you are experiencing panic, you can’t talk because you can’t breathe. You can’t text a friend because you can’t focus on anything but the feeling you are about to die.  Panic is an endless string of negative “what if’s” that can’t be calmed or ignored and are always present. In a true panic attack, you won’t text or call a friend because you can’t think enough to do it.

Requests from These Teenagers

Please stop texting and saying that you are having a panic attack, because you probably are not.  Please stop posting that you are so depressed, because truly depressed teens don’t tell people, sometimes not even their own counselor.  It is the little secret that keeps us from being real. We smile and laugh and act like we are fine, but if you look in our eyes—really look—you can see we are hiding something.  OUR FEAR. And if we ever get brave enough to ask for professional help, please find us a counselor as soon as possible.