An Insta message pops up on Tyler’s phone. As he opens it, he notices it’s from a pretty girl who writes, “Hey, you’re kinda cute. Wanna Chat?” Overwhelmed with emotion and its surging flood of positive chemicals, Tyler messages back. Within minutes they’ve exchanged numbers and are casually flirting. An hour or two later, the conversation turns sexual, and the girl asks for nudes. Tyler sends them, unaware of the risks and excited to grow this new relationship. Seconds later, the Cloud 9 experience becomes darker than anything we can imagine. She threatens to send the pictures to his friends and family unless he buys her $500 worth of gift cards or sends her $500 through online transfer. Tyler is overwhelmed with fear, guilt, shame, and despair. He questions what is going on and why. The girl doubles down with threats, in his mind leaving Tyler with limited options. He is isolated, fearful, desperate, and unable to think clearly.

Sounds like something out of a crazy movie or some story designed to scare teens into doing what their parents say, right? The reality is that this twisted trend, called sextortion, regularly darkens today’s teenager technology. The main target is boys 13-17, who are targeted after hours of research and careful selection.

Sextortion is when an individual, often an adult, sometimes from another country, poses as a young woman or man to gain the attention of an actual teen. Once they build rapport, they ask for sexually explicit photos or videos and monetary blackmail messages are sent to the teen.
If the blackmail is paid, the teen spirals downward into depression and shame. The teenager isolates from the world around them because of their fear of being found out. More and more money is demanded, with no hope of the blackmail ever actually ending.
If the blackmail is not paid, the photos or videos are released to family and friends with horrific messages about how disgusting the teen has been. In such a case, many teens, overwhelmed with despair, attempt to end their life.

The FBI reports that between October 2021 and March of 2023 there were 13,000 reported sextortion cases, with over twenty suicides among them.

This trend hits all demographics and is growing in frequency. The aftermath is devastating to both the teenager and the family. As parents, caretakers, guardians, teachers, pastors, etc., we must be vigilant to protect this generation from falling into this evil. Our precious teenagers can and will transform this world in powerful ways, but until they get there, we must stand firm in protecting them. Ensuring we are active participants in our teens’ lives is the best way to prevent them from becoming victims.

In next month’s blog we will discuss how to talk to your kids about sextortion.